I’ve been coaching basketball for high school kids and I’m coming to realize, being in high school is really hard.
They have their parents telling them what to do…
Stop passing so much in the basketball game.
Go pick up your sister from her friends house.
Do your homework.… because I said so
Who are you with?
Is it the same people you were with 5 years ago? Or 10 years ago? Or are you around a variety of people? Some new, some old. Do you have anyone in your life that you’re 5 years ago-self would think is weird? Or impressive? Someone they’d see you with and say “you’re hanging out with her!?!?”
Where are you?
Have you lived in the same city your whole life? Or do you move around, travel, and immerse yourself in different environments?
What do you do?
Since moving to Austin, I’ve integrated myself into the tennis community. We have leagues, and tournaments around the state of Texas. This tennis community is not that big, so you tend to see a lot of the same people at different events. For the most part everybody gets along, but every now and then you’ll hear or see some people who don’t.
They mostly complaining about the way someone else acted or behaved towards them. Not surprisingly, everyone usually hates on their opponent they recently played. It’s a person over lunch talking about the guy who cheated them out of a point. Sometimes it’s a team captain saying another captain stacked her lineup so they could have their best team play our worst team. Overall, it’s not unlike a high school where you have the community, and cliques (or is it clicks?) within it who don’t always get along and sometimes talk a little ish.
When we complain about things, we’re less happy than we would otherwise be. By definition, someone in a state of happiness is not complaining. When I saw these people complaining, I wanted to avoid it. And I’ve found some ways to do that, no matter how the opponent acts towards me.
4 Ways I Deal With Crappy People
I was speaking with a friend recently. He interns for a law firm and recently finished school. Passing the bar is the “next step” then he’s supposed to get hired by this form, or another. Problem is… this firm needs someone with more experience. That seems to be the case a lot.
Company: I’m looking for someone with more experience
Applicant: I’m trying to get experience but you won’t hire me
Company: Yea… still need someone with more experience
It’s May now and you’ve just graduated.
You post a picture of yourself holding a piece of paper and wearing a weird looking hat and black cloth that covers you from the neck down.
Your caption says “After 3 long years I finally did it. Master’s degree – check!”
Your aunt who like clockwork comments on every post within 20 minutes writes “I’m so proud of you! You deserve it.”
37 likes, 8 comments, and 1 of those new love likes from your aunt.
Three months, and four interviews later you’re “still figuring it out.” Maybe you’re working part time for your dad until “the right job comes your way.”
Maybe you even accepted a job that you don’t actually like.
This isn’t what was supposed to happen. You followed the script. Did everything they told you to do, and what do you have to show for it? 37 likes and 8 comments…
Why does this happen? Because the market isn’t proud of your degree. Only your family is.
School isn’t a place where you provide value to the market.
You know this because if you ask yourself, “who’s life is better right now because I’m in school?” the answer is “no one.”
I haven’t written on this blog since August.
I’ve been talking about starting up again for four months, but the resistance got in the way.
It took its most elusive form ever, and I didn’t realize what it was doing till yesterday.
You have to recognize not just what the resistance is doing, but how.
Old Resistance vs New Resistance
It used to be easy because, if I was eating Domino’s, I was giving in.
If I was watching my 7th episode of The Wire on Netflix in one day, the resistance was surely winning.
But this time it was different, and it’s taken me over four months to figure out how.